everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Actions speak louder than pants.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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