Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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