i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
