a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
