Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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