If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
cat food counts as protein by the way
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
