Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
