I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
