she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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