So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize