I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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