It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
im six kinds of drunk right now
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
