About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
