butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize