the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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