Umm I'm too high to move.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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