out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
