Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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