Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
