mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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