your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
