Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
