Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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