he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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