A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
