Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
