Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
