so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
