Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize