Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
