i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i need some magic done to my vagina
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
