Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
