so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
