I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize