I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
