I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
