puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
