turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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