R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
