we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
