I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Your penis caused this!
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