And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
