the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
