Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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