There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize