Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize