paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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