Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
