EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
