I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
