U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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