I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
