Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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