haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
