Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
