i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
