the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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