I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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