What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i think my cat just said my name.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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