guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize