Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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