he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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