yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
