Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
