Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
