My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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