kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
