did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No subtext here. People are naked.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
