I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize