Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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