I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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