Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize