Dual....:-)
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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