I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
