I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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