be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
