I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
