Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
