i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
