and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
