You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
