apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
