so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
