I'll bet she douches with gravy.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
