And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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