I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i think my cat just said my name.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
